Jurassic Car Park by Millard Adam

Author:Millard, Adam
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Crowded Quarantine Publications
Published: 2015-11-14T05:00:00+00:00

26

“Haunt you for the rest of your sodding life,” said the doctor. “You’ve said that already, and suspense is all well and good, but this has been going on for quite some time, now. It’d be nice to hear what the bloody hell you saw out there.”

“What do you think I saw out there?” I said. “I’ve been foreshadowing them for twenty-odd shagging chapters, and I almost got my balls chewed off by one in the men’s lav.”

“Dinosaurs?” said the doctor. “You expect me to believe that there were dinosaurs outside the pub?”

“Everywhere, they were. As far as the eye could see, and I could see pretty far because I hadn’t had a wank for many moons. Little Shiva Sidhu was being eaten by a T-Rex over at the corner-shop.”

“That poor girl always gets it the worse,” said the doctor. I wasn’t sure if he was patronising me or not, and so I nodded and said:

“I’d never seen a dinosaur before.”

“Apart from the one which tried to eat your nethers in the lavatory,” the doctor said.

“Yes, but that one was a rabid weasel compared to this one. This one was a big bastard, and it looked just like the one from that film with Richard Attenborough.”

“Wasn’t that an elephant man?”

“It was a T-Rex,” I said. “And it made short work of the shopkeeper’s daughter, I can tell you that much. In the short time that I was standing there in the doorway of The Fox, she was snatched up, chewed up, and swallowed.”

“Which would explain your ghostly white appearance,” said the doctor.

“Only partly,” I said. “You see, the dinosaurs weren’t the only thing that put the wind up me. The DeLorean…the DeLorean was—”

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